Lately, I found myself thinking about how we are living in the age of prima donnas.
These are the people who believe they are entitled to everything, who see no one but themselves, and who fail to recognize how they abuse their power to get what they want. They often achieve this through emotional manipulation and various deceptive tactics, never hesitating to use accusations and complaints. They do so without taking responsibility for themselves or their lives ‒ all while demanding that others take full responsibility. Their behavior is filled with control, coercion, and tyranny ‒ distorting reality entirely to suit their perspective.
These are not people who were born and raised with a sense of entitlement. On the contrary, they were born into a reality of deprivation, of having their rights denied. They are people who have been hurt over and over again, experiencing a mix of helplessness, powerlessness, and deep pain. As they grow and gain some self-confidence, all of these elements merge ‒ transforming into prima donna behavior.
The best example I can think of is a post I read on Facebook. A woman bought a book, brought it home, and her husband accidentally ruined it. She contacted the store where she had purchased the book, explained what had happened, and they offered her a replacement copy with a discounted. If you thought she wrote her post expressing gratitude for the unexpected discount, you’d be wrong. She was furious that they expected her to pay anything for a new copy. The fact that her husband had damaged the book was irrelevant to her. She wanted a new copy, and they were supposed to provide it ‒ no questions asked!
When a two or three year-old behaves this way, not yet understanding the connection between actions and consequences, it’s understandable ‒ sometimes even amusing or endearing. But when an adult behaves like this, armed with the power that comes with age ‒ the ability to speak, to criticize, to insult, to make demands ‒ it’s no longer amusing at all.
I believe this is one of the side effects of our time. There is a growing movement advocating for rights, opposing discrimination and oppression, and demanding recognition that we are all equal, even if we are different. This is a positive and important process. Yet, alongside it, the phenomenon of prima donnas is emerging as a byproduct (Just this week, I heard four different stories of this nature ‒ each more “astonishing” than the last).
I fully support self-worth and the strengthening of people’s confidence. However, when this manifests as a demand for others to change ‒ including giving up their personal freedom ‒ just so that someone else can feel good, this is no longer self-confidence. This is prima donna behavior, and there is nothing endearing about it.
