The difficulty we face in being helpless and uncertain drives us to act (or to avoid acting, which is also a form of action). This happens when we are afraid, angry, guilty, hurting, or jealous. The automatic response for most people is to do something to stop how we feel, to save ourselves from what we perceive as a dangerous state to be in.
The problem in these moments is that we do not see reality clearly. We view it from a single perspective, one entangled with strong and difficult emotions, and we fail to see other aspects of the situation – such as alternative solutions or different responses. Sometimes, what we don’t see is that there may be nothing to change, no real danger, and no real wrongdoing on our part.
Emotions are an essential aspect of who we are. It is important to feel them and listen to them. But it’s equally important to remember that when we are overwhelmed, we do not see reality as it truly is. The right thing to do is first to feel – to allow ourselves to process the emotional flood, talk about what we’re going through, and only then determine whether there is truly a problem and whether something needs to be done.
The only emotion (for the most part) that we can safely act upon is love. Like all emotions, love comes with a drive to act. However, unlike other emotions, love does not perceive danger to be avoided – it perceives something wonderful to be expanded. When we love, we want to do good: to compliment, help, encourage, and embrace – physically and verbally. When we love, our perspective is colored by an emotion that shows us reality as it is – a reality filled with goodness, one that deserves to be strengthened, expanded, and cherished.
I write this because we often confuse love with the desire to save, the fear of loss, or the need to cling. When we are driven by the desire to rescue, the fear of losing, or attachment, our actions often fail to bring about good. Therefore, it’s important to distinguish between love and everything that may accompany or imitate it.
So, to summarize: If you are overwhelmed by painful and difficult emotions such as fear, guilt, anger, or hurt – do not rush to act based on what you feel. Allow yourself to feel, consult with people who can support you, and only then will you see more clearly what is truly worth doing – or not doing.
On the other hand, if you are overwhelmed with love, let that emotion move you to act. Compliment, help, give. Open your heart, and fill the world with your love.
